Time is a funny phenomena - waiting for something makes it pass so slowly let when you look back you can't believe how much you've packed in. At the moment James and I are waiting for Wednesday when we have the final day of our Preparation course. Then on Thursday the big adoption boss comes to our house to interview us to see if we're ready for panel.

I'm not sure research is a very good idea - you read one story that's great and you're filled with hope. The next is a horror story of adopting an evil child that the parents end up hating or getting divorced over. However if you took it all personally you'd go crazy.

James is away at the mo, and Pincess Toodles is back home, curled asleep upstairs. Looking at her it somtimes worries me that I may never be able to love another child as much as I love her. She is the centre of everything to me but I do desperately want another child and she wants a sister. There is a hole in our family that's waiting to be filled. Not even letting myself consider we won't get through panel...

Sometimes you get a strange feeling that just stops you in your tracks. You may mis-interpret it at the time and it comes to realisation in a very strange way. I once was absolutely stopped dead in my tracks when I was pregnant with the knowledge Iwould have another daughter. I was really REALLY confused when I found out I was pregant with twin boys. Unfortunately they were born premature and are now my little moonbeams in heaven. But the feeling I would have another daughter was so absolutely strong and has never passed. Very weirdly the name that came into my head at the same time was Katiya. Have to say it would blow me away if we were matched with a little girl called Katiya - there I go again need to keep myself firmly grounded and take one stap at a time!

Life is plodding on, seems a bit in limbo at the mo, at least Madonna's calmed down - everyone wanted my opinion - well actually I don't know the woman and don't trust papers so really no point wasting time speculating.


Right - time to finish up and ready steady beddy
Little Katiya - Mummy sends a kiss and will carry on waiting for you.

Mummy, Daddy and Princess Toodles xxxxx