I found out today that I passed my NVQ Level 2 in Sign Language... It's somthing I've been trying to get for 4 years and finally managed. Only another 2 years and I 'll be a fully certified interpreter. I'm not sure if I knew how long it would take at the start that I would have quite so happily commited myself. Adoption is a bit like that, at first you spend hours pondering the date game which goes something along the lines of...

"Right I'll get my dossier done in 2 weeks, 1 week with lawyer, 1 week for posting, 2 weeks for travel, ohhh maybe 3 months for referal, 1 month for court date then almost home - wow"

You convince yourself that no matter what you read, it'll be different for you and it'll all happen in 4-6 months, lovely. In reality it never happens that quick but you adapt, next time you dream it starts off with "Right, I'll get my dossier done in 2 months...." However if at the start of the process, if someone had said to me you'll be 18months down the line and still just waiting with no end in sight I may have been disheartened, disillusioned or just put off altogether!

So frankly I say raise a glass to optimism and adaptability. Optimism gets us to sign up in the first place and adaptability allows up to keep positive and to wildly celebrate the occasional time when things actually happen quicker than normal, when a bill comes in and it's marginally cheaper than ultimately expected, in short when life throws you a bone.

And at the end of the day, I will have my daughter and I may be a sign language interpreter but until then "I'll get my dossier done in 4 months...."

Tick tock, 2months since we went to Russia and good God is it going slowly! However on one hand that's good because I don't want time to fly by with Princess Toodles but on the other hand, anxiety levels are reaching gigantic levels. Everything stresses me, Russia and UK having diplomatic problems becuase of Litvenchenko, the guy who was poisoned by the Russians. Russia and US over weapons, anything I hear about Russia is usually a bit doom and gloom and I just begin to panic about getting our daughter before everything goes pear shaped.

And people who are well meaning and nice and beginning to annoy me, the converstion usually goes:

"So how's the Adoption going?"
"Oh we're just waiting for the phone call but we have no idea how long that will be."
"Do you think it will be soon?"
"I really don't know, some people get a quick referral, others wait years"
"So do you think you'll have her home by Christmas?"

I know people are well meaning and don't really know what else to say but after the 10th time of this you do get just a touch stressy! Although, what are people supposed to say to come across as interested yet savvy? Polite enquiries about preparations, learning Russian or our general coping-ness with the wait? I'm really don't know but if I you have any suggestions...

1st July 2007 - The Hidden Gains on the adoption Journey...

Adoption is a journey - almost everyone you talk to about adoption will say this but there is something very few people tell you about but many people I've spoken to agree. Since starting my journey I have now gained a backside the size of Alaska.

The emotional rollercoaster that comes with adoption takes many twists and turns and you feel the full spectrum of emotions:

Depression = Comfort eating
Frustration = Occupational therapy eating
Confusion = Mindless eating
Celebration = Lets have a meal eating.

OK so I'm pobably hugely generalising but it is amazing how many people I've spoken too that suffer the same problem. One couple who'd sat in Russia for 10 days waiting for papers and clearance warned me there was very little else to do but eat, and thinking about it I can now fully understand.

I got on the scales, it was shocking! At this rate by the time I bring my daughter home, I'm going to have to get a new home with an excessively large front door. So I am now on the official adoption diet. I've put it in the "Keep Debi busy by doing positive things" category and it's not quite as depressing as the normal efforts.

I'm sure there are people out there where the stress of adoption impacts them by losing weight and others who have remarkable control and just stay the same. To you I dedicate my ryvita. For the rest of us mere mortals, we can stop stuffing, celebrate our buxomness or bin the scales (now that is tempting...!)